I can't die...

When I first heard Nate's diagnosis from the neurologist, my first thought was, "I can never die."  Truer words have never been spoken.

This past April, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  It happened very quickly.  I went from noticing something on my breast to a double mastectomy within three and a half weeks.  I started chometherapy treatments a month after that and will begin radiation next week.  My prognosis is good, but I can't begin to tell you how worried I was about the boys.

Nate has handled this very well.  I think he is so much in his own world that he didn't realize I was in bed most of the summer.  He was happy with his job at TJMaxx and was staffed most of the summer.

Nick was constantly worried.  We tried to keep him busy by taking a summer school class and with football practice, but he worried and became angry.  He would often ask me, "How many cancer cells are left in your body?"  I could only tell him hopefully none.

Noah had a rough summer.  He didn't understand why Mommy was always in bed and he wasn't allowed in there with me.  There were days that I was so sick from the chemo I couldn't have him laying on me.  We had him staffed almost every waking moment, but he still could sense that something was wrong.

Since I knew I would lose my hair, I gradually cut it shorter.  I thought this would make it easier on the boys.  When it was time to shave my head, we did it at home and let them watch.  We tried to make it as normal as possible...."Mommy is getting a haircut."  Noah loved to sit next to me and rub my head.

I tried to go start the school year teaching, but after 2 days, I just couldn't do it.  It was too exhausting.  I came home from school those nights and went straight to bed.  I couldn't parent my kids (who need a lot of parenting).  I plan to return to school at the beginning of next semester.

It's been a hard six months.  Many times I wanted to quit the treatment because it was so hard.  I am glad I didn't quit.  I am their advocate.  I am their fighter.  I am their warrior.  I am their mother.  I will not let this cancer prevent me from that.

I don't talk about him often......

I usually spend most of my time talking about Nate and Noah, since they have more severe autism.  This time, I am only going to talk about Nick.

Nick is a high school freshman with high-functing autism.  He was diagnosed at 18 months and responded to therapy much quicker than Nate.  By 4th or 5th grade, he no longer required an aide and was navigating through with the help of his very understanding teachers.

The transition to high school has been better than I expected.  He still struggles with the social expectations of how students behave in class.  He needs to learn to watch how the other students are acting for cues; no one else gets up and walks around the room while the teacher is talking. He also needs to learn that every thought that pops into his head does not need to be shared.  The teachers know that he is smart, he doesn't have to show them every chance he gets.

We had his IEP yesterday.  Nick's Behavior Analyst came along.  She was able to share with his teachers the social program we are using at home so they can be consistent at school.  It was also nice to have someone (not a parent) explain to everyone how hard he works at home to achieve what they see at school.  He is not being that annoying kid on purpose.  She also explained how Nick is in the really difficult "sliver" of the spectrum because he knows that he is different but doesn't know how to fit in.  As we were walking out to our cars yesterday, she commented that his teachers seem to "get him".  I truly hope so.

Nick is playing football this fall.  Due to lack of staffing, I wasn't able to see many of his football games in the past.  This year, most of his games have been on nights when Nate and Noah are staffed.      Tim and I are getting parenting experiences we didn't think we would get.  A couple of weeks ago, we  were sitting in a restaurant with Nick after one of his games.  He was still in his uniform, smelled disgusting, and was doing homework while we waited for our food....and I loved every minute of it.

Friendships are still a struggle....I often get frustrated with his behavior, but I need to remember that he honestly doesn't get it.  Staff role plays and practices scenarios with him and I hope this will improve with time and maturity.  Until then, we just keep plugging along.......

Don't make fun of the little yellow bus......

Last night someone I went to high school with made two comments on Facebook making fun of the "little yellow bus."  Since I was friends with this person, the comments showed up in my feed.  I read them and read them again.  I was offended and shocked that someone would still make reference to the "little yellow bus" when he was questioned about his spelling.  He also preceded to refer to the person who questioned his spelling as also having ridden "the little yellow bus."

I stewed for a while and then I did it.  I called him out on it.  Since I have since blocked him, I can't pull up my comment.  However, it did let him know that I found it was offensive.  While he did not reply to my comment, the other person did.  His reply was, "Oh, for fuck's sake."

Well, let me tell you what "for fuck's sake."  That "little yellow bus" was a life saver for us.  Every morning as each of my three children boarded that bus, I knew that they were going to make some sort of progress that day.  Some days it was very small, but other days it was HUGE.  I knew that I was lucky to live in an area that offered all these services for my kids.  I have met many parents with special kids who are not that lucky.  I knew that my kids would be safe and no one would be making fun of them for being different.

So, let's show the "little yellow bus" some respect.  Let's show the people who work with the kids who ride the "little yellow bus" some respect.  It's not always an easy job.  But, most importantly, let's show the kids who ride the "little yellow bus" some respect.  I guarantee they work harder than most kids to learn how to do things that many people take for granted.

We've Come a Long Way Baby....

Today, I took Nate to the pediatrician for a pre-surgery physical.  He's going to Children's Hospital to have dental work done under anesthesia tomorrow and needs a physical 24 hours in advance.

As Nate and I were driving to the doctor's office, we had this conversation:

Me: Nate, what's the doctor going to look at?

Nate:  Ears.

Me: What else?

Nate: Mouth.

Me:  What else?

Nate:  Chest.

Me: What else?

Nate: Back.

Me: And?

Nate: Belly.

Me:  Are you going to kick the doctor?

Nate: No.

Me:  Are you going to scream?

Nate: No.

We had the conversation 3 or 4 times as we made our way to the appointment.  And you know what?  It came true!

He let the nurse take his temperature and blood pressure.  He actually led the exam with the doctor by telling him what to check and in what order.  He was so good!  He did get a little impatient after the exam while we waited for all the forms to be filled out.

As Nate was getting his cookies, (Which he asked for using a complete sentence), the nurses were talking about what a good job he did.  One of the nurses said that she remembered him screaming and rocking when we pulled in the parking lot.  She laughed and said that everyone knew Nate was in because they could hear him screaming the minute we walked in the door.  He's come a long way....... Let's hope tomorrow goes as smoothly.....

8 days post surgery.....

I am 8 days post surgery.  I spent last Thursday night in the hospital.  When I was released last Friday, I went straight to my mom's.  It's quiet there so I was able to sleep and heal.  I am so used to all the staff being in the house, that I don't realize how loud and busy it always is.

Tim brought the boys to visit me twice at my mom's.  Noah really struggled.  He didn't understand why he couldn't sit next to me and twirl my hair.  He also went through my bag, brought me another pair of pajamas (he didn't notice that I already had a pair on), and then stripped and tried to find his pajamas.  He also didn't understand why I wasn't coming home with him.  I think it was a rough 5 days.  Luckily, the approval for extra staffing came through and he was staffed all weekend and kept busy.

I returned home Tuesday.  I arrived an hour before Nate and Noah got off the bus, so I had time to settle in and get comfortable.  When Noah came in off the bus, I was laying on the love seat.  I thought he'd come straight over for some love......no.  He ran right past me and into his room to put his things away.  He basically ignored me all night.  I'm not sure if he was mad at me....  

I got the silent treatment until 7:30.  Why 7:30?  Well at 7:30, Noah had been bathed, was in his pajamas, and had taken his medicine.  He was tired.  Now it was all about mom.  He brought me another pair of pajamas and asked for "Mommy's bed".  What did I do?  I promptly complied.  I put on the other pair of pajamas and climbed into my bed with him.  (Don't tell me he's too old to be in my bed.  You try having 2 children who will never snuggle and then suddenly the 3rd one wants to snuggle.  I have many years to make up for.  That's probably the topic for another blog)

We laid down under the covers.  Noah had a flapper in one hand and was twirling my hair with the other.  All was right with his world.

I'm having surgery....

So here's another time that the autism just makes things a little more difficult.  I am having surgery tomorrow with a 6 week recovery period. For a few weeks I will not be able to push a vacuum, lift anything over 10 pounds, or go up and down the stairs. So, being left alone with Nate and Noah is now impossible.   My biggest stress is not the surgery itself, but getting Noah staffed during my recovery.

Luckily, the state approved emergency funding for additional hours for Noah.  Unfortunately, the company who provides our staff doesn't have enough people to staff all the hours we need help.  I am hoping they find the personnel we need.  As it is, I already am staying a few days with my mom so Noah doesn't jump on me or hurt me in any way. 

If Nate and Noah were typical children, I'd be able to be left alone with them after the surgery. They would also be able to help with cooking meals and keeping up the housework. I wouldn't be spending so much time and energy worrying about getting Noah staffed. 

Sharing our story.......

A friend of mine teaches a class at Lindenwood University and asked me to speak to her class. I told them about our journey.....the good and bad.

I told them about the poop, the appendicitis, and the social struggles. I was brutally honest. I also talked about the Autismmobile and getting services in the home. I talked about the depression and how  Noah's diagnosis almost killed me. We laughed together and got a little teary together. 

I love sharing our story in hopes that I can save another mom from feeling as overwhelmed and alone as I was. It's also good for me to tell the story from the beginning and realize how far we all have come. 

A Tale Of Two IEPs

We cranked out two IEPs today, Nick's and Noah's.  Someone suggested that we also schedule Nate's and get them all done in one day.  I just can't....too emotionally draining to do both Nate's and Noah's in the same day.  Their needs are too involved....too much.

We started the day with Nick's meeting.  We requested a SSD representative from the high school attend so we could focus on the rest of 8th grade and next year's needs.  I am so lucky that Nick attends school where Tim teaches.  It's just nice knowing that Nick's teachers know Tim and have a even more vested interest in him.  It also helps that Tim knows which colleagues would be a good fit.  The meeting was longer this year than last year's, but we got a lot hammered out.  We have minutes set for the rest of this year and next, and some good goals.  The high school representative really listened when we requested Algebra and English be in the morning when his medicine is in full effect.  We had frank and honest conversations about his social skills, lack of friendships  and choosing electives.  We decided that a foreign language could wait until his Sophomore year and Debate might not be a good class for Nick to take.  Tim and I are worried about next year, but today's meeting was a great start to reduce the worry.  It was also nice to have his home Behavior Therapist with us to talk about the Social Thinking program he is learning at home.

Noah's meeting was after lunch.  I am always worried going into his meetings.  Noah's behavior is more of an issue than Nate and Nick's and I often worry about his lack of academic progress.  Today's meeting was very smooth.  His behavior the past calendar year has greatly improved.  I couldn't believe the data.  He has also made some academic progress.  This is also in part to the home ABA team working on many of the same skills as school.  Andrea, Nick and Noah's Behavior Therapist, was ferociously taking notes and offering many good suggestions.  Noah will have many new things to work on at home.  Noah came to Southview for the second half of kindergarten.  He is now technically in the 4th grade.  The teacher he has this year is the same teacher he had for the second half of kindergarten.  It is so nice to be able to talk about the differences between then and now.  

So we made it......two IEPs, two happy parents, and, most importantly, zero tears.

Random Acts of Kindness....

My mom and I took Nate to the mall Saturday to buy him new pants for work.  He has grown so much this past year, that nothing fits.

Out first stop was Qdoba for lunch.  As we were going through the line, I was prompting Nate to order on his own.  I asked him if wanted a chicken or cheese quesadilla for lunch.  Nate kept telling me chicken, so I let him tell the man his order.  Nate told him chicken several times, so I figured he really wanted the chicken quesadilla.  We took out food to the table to eat and Nate started inspecting his food.  He wouldn't eat his quesadilla and opened it up to start picking out every piece of chicken and giving it to my mom.  I knew this was not going to work.  He would not rest until every piece of chicken was gone.  I went back up to the counter to order Nate a cheese quesadilla.  The same man was working and I told him that Nate wouldn't eat the chicken and I needed a new cheese quesadilla.  I stepped down to pay and he shooed me back to my table and told me not to worry about paying.  I would have gladly paid for the other quesadilla, but it was nice that the man recognized Nate's difficulty in ordering.

The second act of kindness surprised me more than the first.  We were at Macy's buying Nate some pants.  I was paying for them and Nate was pacing behind me.  There was a young man (in his early 20's with green hair) standing behind me.  I kept waiting for Nate to comment about the green hair, but, surprisingly, he didn't.  Nate could not stand still and just kept pacing behind me.  He also kept repeating the words, "apples and bananas."  Over and over, "apples and bananas."  One time he only said, "apples."  The young man behind me looked at Nate, smiled, and said, "and bananas."  Nate looked at the young man, smiled, and then started all over again, "apples and bananas."  The young man behind me didn't judge Nate.  He didn't look at us with pity.  He just took a minute and tried to make a connection with Nate.  It really made my day.

No meltdown...........

I think we've made progress.......

Nate was watching a Bear in the Big Blue House DVD tonight. I went back to check on him twice and the DVD had frozen. He was just sitting on his bed waiting off the DVD to start again.  When I walked in, he just kept saying, "Bear."  He wasn't crying, he wasn't stomping his feet, and he wasn't making his his pitched shrieking noises. 

Normally, he'd be inconsolable. He would have come to find me already in tears. After I'd walked back in his room and told him it was broken, all hell would break loose. The first step would be blinking quickly for a minute and the crying would start.....full out wailing. Next, he'd stomp his feet. To make sure I knew he meant business, he'd clap at me a few times and start screaming. 

None of that happened tonight. Granted, I wish he would have come and asked for help, but I will chalk this one up as a win. 

We finally saw a lawyer…….

Tim and I finally saw a lawyer a few weeks ago.  We needed help planning for the future.  It's always difficult, but with the boys' situations, we need to have everything set up correctly.

I googled "special needs lawyer" along with my zip code and a list came up.  I just picked the one closest to the house.  Their firm only handles estate planning, elderly planning, and disability benefits.  I felt like they were the right choice.

The lawyer we met with was very patient and was able to answer all our questions.  We talked about the boys and our hopes for the future.  She knew what we needed to do for the boys and how to set things up.  We talked about creating a trust that will protect all the assets and allow the boys to receive their SSI benefits and medicaid.  She also spelled out our future steps, which include becoming Nate's guardian when he turns 18.

It's still a very overwhelming process…..so many decisions to make and so many papers to sign.  It would just be easier if I could live forever.

I'm obsessed with life insurance….

Two thoughts always go through my mind:
1.  I can never die.
2.  When I do die, will I have enough life insurance to allow Nate and Noah to live comfortably?

Since I know that not dying is not an option, I now worry about #2.  So….I am obsessed with life insurance.  I have it through my work, Tim's work, and the NEA.  I have taken out the maximum amount allowed through each provider.  I still fear that it's not enough.

Nate and Noah will never work to support themselves.  If they do work, it will pay a very insignificant amount.  I am not confident that Social Security and/or Medicaid will be enough to allow them to live comfortably.  

I do not want their living expenses to be Nick's responsibility.  Since he will have to take care of all the other aspects of their lives, I want to take care of this one.  

Another application came in the mail today…..excuse me while I fill it out.

Vacation

For the past few years, Tim and I have been wanting to take the boys to the beach.  It just seemed impossible…..the long drive, the crowds, and would they get in the water?  I was afraid of many things; would Noah have a huge meltdown after five hours of driving and refuse to get back in the car, would Nate not touch the sand, would we lose Noah in the crowd at the beach or in the waves?

Only one of those fears came to fruition…..

We broke the 12 hour drive up into two days.  We drove seven hours the first day to Jackson, MS and then cut over to Pensacola the second day.  When we returned, we stayed at the same hotel to keep a routine.  The boys handled the drive really well.  We stopped often to use the restroom (Noah had one small accident in the car) and switch cars (we took two).  I think switching cars really helped, as did the DVD player in the van and their IPads.

The condo we rented was beachfront and on the 12th floor.  For the first couple of days, Nate and Noah would not go out on the balcony.  As time went on, they would venture out and eat meals outside.  Noah was not allowed on the balcony unattended…..I just didn't trust him to be out there by himself.  Nick liked the balcony form the beginning and ate most meals outside.

Nick and Noah loved the ocean right from the start.  Nate on the other hand……. It took two days and he finally would go in.  Tim handled Nate beautifully and got him in the water so much quicker than I thought.  I was hoping Nate would go in the water by the 4th day, Tim had him in the 2nd day.  We would hit the pool in the morning and then prep Nate by telling him we would go the the ocean after lunch and then talk about it through out the morning.  This schedule worked well for Nate.  It was also nice that the pools were right on the beach, so when Nate was finished with the ocean, someone could take him up to the pool.  Nick and Noah played in the ocean as much as possible.  I think Noah thought it was the best wave pool ever!

We stayed on Perdido Key, which is less crowded than Destin or Orange Beach.  To avoid crowded restaurants, we only ate out once, and that was for lunch.  It was easier to cook familiar foods at home instead of going to unfamiliar, crowded restaurants.

In order to make this vacation a success, we enlisted help from many people.  Besides the five of us, we took my mom, our nanny, and two staff members.  Without these extra hands, we could not have taken this vacation.

The trip was such a success that on the way home my mom and I were discussing where to take the boys next year.  For the first time our vacation choices seem less limited…...

I did vaccinate my children....

And I'd do it again.

A "celebrity" has been very vocal in her choice not to vaccinate her children.  She says she's not vaccinating them because she doesn't want them to get autism. And she's being very public about this.  I wonder what her pediatrician has to say about this.

There is no medical proof that vaccines cause autism. The boys' pediatrician, neurologist, and psychiatrist have assured me of this.  Sure, having kids with autism is hard....but wouldn't it also be difficult to have a child that falls ill with one of the diseases we can vaccinate against and dies?  I think the guilt of knowing that I caused the death of my child by choosing not to vaccinate him would kill me.

I worry that she, like another celebrity, are using their persona to push their beliefs onto others. I wish that only medical personnel could be allowed to speak about "preventing" and "curing" autism. So many parents, like me, wish for a cure every day. It's so easy to "chase rainbows" in hopes of helping our children. Tim and I decided early on that we would only peruse treatments that were medically proven to help children with autism. I admit, there have been days that we have talked about trying some other approaches, but we have stuck to our guns. I realize that all children are different, but medication and therapy are working in our house.

3rd child discount

I was emailed information to apply for a $5000 grant from United Health Care to help cover some of the boys' bills. I wanted the money to pay for extra shifts for Nate since his hours were cut back.

As I was reviewing the criteria, I noticed that Tim and I exceed the household income limit. I called the contact number and spoke to someone regarding our situation. Yes, we exceed the income limit, but we have 3 children with autism. That's 3 times the co-pays. 3 times the therapies. 3 times the medications. Unfortunately, that did not matter.

When my sister and I went to high school, there was a tiered system for the tuition charges. The first child was full price, the second child was discounted, and the third child was free. Why can't that apply here?

How about a policy that every 10th co-pay is free?  How about for every 100 hours of ABA, you get 5 hours free?  How about a punch card for speech and OT visits?

Autism doesn't care how much money Tim and I make. Why should it matter to the insurance companies?

Travis, we will miss you!

Last night team Hill gathered to say goodbye to the last original member of the team.  Travis worked his last shift yesterday.  He is moving out of state to begin a new chapter in his life.

Travis was the only staff member left from that original meeting in December of 2010.  I wonder if he sensed my desperation that day.  Did they all know that I was at my wits end?  Did he know what was in store for him?  Did he know that he would become a member of our family?

He's been with us for 3 years.  He has seen it all….the poop, the vomit, the wandering, the throw-downs…all of it.  He is the one who can tell the new team members, "You have no idea what it was like in the beginning."  He has also seen the celebrations….the sentences, the chores, trying new things…. all of it.  He's been the recipient of both Nate and Noah's anger and aggressive behavior.  He's seen us through a death, 2 of my surgeries, and many sick boys.  He has been with us on vacation.

Travis is also the record keeper of the group.  He has taken countless pictures of the boys and all the staff members.  He has turned these memories into photo books and calendars that we will always cherish.

I always knew that he would move on.  His course work was finished and he was ready.  Still, when he  told us he was moving, I cried.

We had a great dinner last night.  Many former team members stopped by and we spent so much time talking about the boys.  It is always so fun to hear some of the fun stories again!  There was so much laughter.

I know that even though Nate, Nick, and Noah won't show it, they will miss Travis very much.  Maybe as much as Tim and I will.  I hope he know how he helped all of us, not just the boys.  His being on our team helped change 5 lives for the better.

Dear Santa,

Dear Santa,

Here's my wish list for this year:

1.  A Lopez Waiver for Nate
2.
3.

Actually, that's all I want. Our new insurance company follows the law to the letter, $40,000/ year per child. $40,000 is a lot of money, so it should buy a lot of ABA services , right?

Wrong. It's about 14 hours a week. When you have a 15 year old that can't be left alone, that's not a lot.

Our DMH case manger called me yesterday and said, "Christmas came early!"  I almost started to cry. I thought Nate got the waiver. No such luck. She was calling to tell me that Nick was awarded some funding.  I don't want to sound ungrateful......however, what about Nate?  He is much more severe and needs funding for more help.

So Santa, please help. Nate has come so far in the last three years with the help of 20+ hours of staffing a week. Cutting it back will bring setbacks, not more progress. I wish these people making these decisions would come visit and meet the recipients of the services before they put a cap on services or pass him over because he doesn't appear needy enough.

Please give me a Christmas miracle,

Stacey

Halloween 2013

Halloween is always stressful at our house. Nick is totally into it and Noah usually goes along with it. Nate, however, has always been the issue. He doesn't like to dress up and he really doesn't understand trick or treating. If you open your front door for Nate, he's going to walk in your house. So, I the past, Nate has been the problem at Halloween. This Halloween, was very different.

Tim had a football game on Halloween. So, we were already down one adult. I took Nick to a friend's house and he trick or treated with them. This left me at home to hand out candy and Nate and Noah with their staff.

Both boys put on their costumes with no problem...even Nate. This was encouraging. Since the weather was so bad, they decided to go trick or treating at the mall. I thought this would be better for Nate, since this eliminated the whole going in people's houses. It was so crowded at the mall that staff decided to take the boys to Krispy Kreme for their free donuts and then home to see the neighbors.

When Noah goes to the mall, he wants to ride the escalator and go to the play place. Well, neither of those things happened on Halloween. It was so crowded that they just turned around to leave. Noah was not having any of that. He dropped to the ground and started screaming. For Noah's staff member, it was her first experience with a Noah fit.  I am really glad that she was not with him alone. Nate's staff member had plenty of experience with a Noah fit apparently, this one lasted 25 minutes. They said they were surprised that mall security did not get involved.

When he quieted down, they were able to get him in the car. They still stopped at Krispy Kreme. Nate went in and got his donut and Noah sat in the car. He was not going to get a treat to reinforce his behavior at the mall. When they got home, Nate went trick or treating at the neighbor's houses.  He said "trick or treat" and did not try to enter their homes. While Nate did this, Noah took a bath and went straight to bed. He was exhausted after his meltdown. Nate proudly showed me his candy and had another donut.

If you had told me that Nate would have a great Halloween, I would have bet against you. It just shows that in an autism house, nothing is a sure thing.

Noah update

We had Noah's IEP a few weeks ago. It lasted 2 hours. It's so funny, in my building, the kids don't receive as many services, so the IEPs last about 45 minutes. I think 2 hours is Noah's shortest IEP so far.

Noah's behavior has greatly improved, both at home and in school. He still struggles is school when a classmate is having a meltdown. Noah is an empathetic crier. If you are crying, he will cry with you. I guess he thinks that no one should meltdown alone. They are now trying to get Noah out of the rio when a classmate is starting to rev up.

The OT is concerned with Noah's handwriting. She has not seen much improvement over the past year. She asked about typing, but I said no. I think we need to keep up with the handwriting. I'm afraid that if we start typing, he will never write. He also needs to have a signature when begets older.   Our home OT will help get the staff on the same page with handwriting. This way he can also practice at home.   I was also pleasantly surprised when the school OT wanted to increase his OT minutes.

The classroom teacher wants to up his academic goals. She wants to move Noah into the Dolce 1st grade words.  She also wants to start counting by 5's and 10's. When we get these things implemented in his home therapy, he will master these in no time. All the therapists agreed that he learns so quickly.

It seems that he makes great strides every day.  I am anxious to see where we are in another year!

We went to a movie...

Yesterday, the AMC theater in Creve Coeur had a Sensory Free movie.  This means that they didn't turn the lights down all the way and didn't turn the sound all the way up.  They also didn't show any previews so the movie length was shorter.

Katie and I took Nate and Noah.  I was a little nervous.  I had yet to sit through a whole movie with the boys.  Unfortunately, AMC did not let Katie in for free.  We had Noah's letter from Behavior Intervention Services, but no such luck.  Most places will allow the staff in for free.  This may not seem like a big deal....a few dollars here and there, but when you have to take an extra person with you everywhere, it gets expensive.  The manager did photocopy the letter and will contact the corporate office.  Let's hope that next time staff will be let in at no charge.

It was so nice!    The auditorium was not quiet.  The kids were doing what they had to do to get through the movie.  Many of them were covering their ears, flapping, making sounds, and getting up and pacing.  One teen stood in the aisle the entire time.  No one asked him to sit down.  No one stared at any of the kids.  No one asked any of the kids to be quiet.  

We went through a couple refills of our large popcorn.  I think the highlight for my boys was the popcorn.  I am not sure if they can follow a plot longer than an episode of Thomas the Tank Engine.  Noah asked to use the bathroom twice and was getting a little antsy the last 20 minutes.  Nate sat in his seat the whole time.  He verbalized when he noticed things on the screen...."boat" and "cheeseburger".

My kids were with their peers.  They were not a minority.  They were able to be themselves and so were all the other kids in the theater.  I did not notice any parents looking anxious and nervous because they were afraid of how others would react to their children.  The kids were comfortable.  The parents were comfortable.  It was a good outing.