Help arrived today!!!! Let me rephrase that......FREE help arrived today!!!!!!
After the last poop incident, I called an agency to get some professional help in the house. I know the owner from work (she worked for SSD and went out on her own). After our initial phone call, she called me back with a proposition. She was contacted by a woman who was training to become an ABA provider and needed to be supervised. She could not work with a family that was receiving services from the Department of Mental Health. So, she will come in once a week, make a behavior plan for Noah and the toilet, and train other people to help us. When they find people to staff Noah, I will have to pay them. However, they aren't nearly as expensive as the ABA person who is coming up with the behavior plan and staying on top of things to make sure it's implemented. She will come on Friday nights since the other therapists don't come those nights. Yay!!!!!
When she asked about goals, all I could think about was getting him toilet trained. She will also focus on sitting at the table while eating (he takes one bite and runs around the table), getting dressed (and STAYING dressed), and brushing his teeth. I am so excited to have someone in the house whose sole purpose is to teach Noah these things. They won't have to worry about the other two boys, cooking dinner, doing laundry, etc.
I threw her into the fire today. I had her sit with Noah at dinner to make sure he used his fork and stayed in his seat. Then, she gave him a bath and used that time to reinforce learning body parts. Do you want to know how good he was tonight? It figures, when I have someone to help, he's good. Next week she is coming Wednesday....that's also his first day of school. Any guesses on what he'll be like the next time she sees him?????
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Nate's new school
I am so excited!!! Next Monday, Nate will start at his new school. It's called Southview and all of the students are special needs. He will FINALLY look like everyone else in class. For once, he won't be the one that's different.
This decision was a long time coming. Since Tim and I both teach middle school, we agreed years ago that Nate would not go to middle school. It was very hard for Tim to agree that Nate should not attend school in the building where he teaches, but we know what is best for Nate. I started the ball rolling on this last summer before Nate started 5th grade. We started the meeting on this in March.
Getting him in was not an easy task. First there's the packet.....40 pages that the current teacher and parent fill out together. My friends also helped me write an essay about Nate and why he belongs in the special school. We had 3 meetings. In the first meeting a representative from Southview and a representative from Tim's school attended. Their purpose was to determine if the regular school could academically offer Nate everything that the special school could. It was long and difficult. At one time I just looked at the guy from the special school and said, "Just take him. Take him now, because if you tell me no I won't quit. I will keep requesting this until you give in." The fact that Tim and I teach middle school worked in our favor because we know how things operate.
The second meeting involved a tour of the special school. When we walked in there was a boy in the office flapping his hands like Nate does. I also saw a teenage boy walking down the hall holding hands with his aide. Finally........kids that looked like Nate! They also had adult size playground equipment and a store where Nate can practice money and buy snacks. Since Nate still needs help in the bathroom, it won't be a big deal if an adult goes in with him. There were Elmo books in the library.....that's right up Nate's alley. After touring the school, there was no way in hell they were telling me no.
The final decision was finally made at the third meeting. The decision was made very quickly and was supported by all of the adults who serviced Nate over the years. There were tears from his adaptive pe teacher who has had him since kindergarten. She agreed that sometimes the "least restrictive environment" isn't always what is best. We then wrote the new IEP. I was surprised how the goals went from being educational based to being life skill based. That's what I have wanted all along. I have always said that I am not concerned about now, but about 10 years from now.
It was a long and hard fight. I wish it didn't have to be. I fight so much that I just wish something could be easy......just once.....
This decision was a long time coming. Since Tim and I both teach middle school, we agreed years ago that Nate would not go to middle school. It was very hard for Tim to agree that Nate should not attend school in the building where he teaches, but we know what is best for Nate. I started the ball rolling on this last summer before Nate started 5th grade. We started the meeting on this in March.
Getting him in was not an easy task. First there's the packet.....40 pages that the current teacher and parent fill out together. My friends also helped me write an essay about Nate and why he belongs in the special school. We had 3 meetings. In the first meeting a representative from Southview and a representative from Tim's school attended. Their purpose was to determine if the regular school could academically offer Nate everything that the special school could. It was long and difficult. At one time I just looked at the guy from the special school and said, "Just take him. Take him now, because if you tell me no I won't quit. I will keep requesting this until you give in." The fact that Tim and I teach middle school worked in our favor because we know how things operate.
The second meeting involved a tour of the special school. When we walked in there was a boy in the office flapping his hands like Nate does. I also saw a teenage boy walking down the hall holding hands with his aide. Finally........kids that looked like Nate! They also had adult size playground equipment and a store where Nate can practice money and buy snacks. Since Nate still needs help in the bathroom, it won't be a big deal if an adult goes in with him. There were Elmo books in the library.....that's right up Nate's alley. After touring the school, there was no way in hell they were telling me no.
The final decision was finally made at the third meeting. The decision was made very quickly and was supported by all of the adults who serviced Nate over the years. There were tears from his adaptive pe teacher who has had him since kindergarten. She agreed that sometimes the "least restrictive environment" isn't always what is best. We then wrote the new IEP. I was surprised how the goals went from being educational based to being life skill based. That's what I have wanted all along. I have always said that I am not concerned about now, but about 10 years from now.
It was a long and hard fight. I wish it didn't have to be. I fight so much that I just wish something could be easy......just once.....
Friday, August 6, 2010
nate and the toilet
Nate is a visual stimmer. In other words, he likes to watch things move. When he was little he used to put his face up against the tv and watch the ticker tape along the bottom of the screen. A ceiling fan would keep him facinated for hours. He also used to continuously flush the toilet and watch the water spin and go down. It took a long time to get him to quit putting his face in the toilet to watch the water.
One night, years later, we were at Chevy's having dinner. One of the many bad things about Nate not talking, is you don't know when he doesn't feel well. So, without warning, Nate threw up all over the table......and again on himself....and again all over the floor. I jumped up and took Nate into the women's restroom while Tim got the check and Vicki took Nick and Noah to the car.
I got Nate into the bathroom and tried to get Nate to throw up in the toilet instead of all over the floor. Now, mind you, we have been teaching Nate FOR YEARS not to put his face in the toilet. What was I trying to do now?????? Have him put his face in the toilet. He was sooooooo confused. Even though he couldn't speak, the look on his face was priceless and he clearly thought I was crazy. I never did get him to throw up in the toilet. I owed the staff at Chevy's a huge apology.
When he stopped getting sick, I decided it was time to go to the car. To get to the car, we had to walk through the mall. Now, Nate and I are covered in vomit. He does not like the feel of this and starts to take off his clothes. Nate was 8 years old. Everyone knows that an 8 year old is too old to be stripping in the mall. So, here I am trying to reason with a child that can't be reasoned with and I hear the words, "Hi, Mrs. Hill!" Oh yes, a student and her parent............
I tell all my students about my kids in the beginning of the school year so that if we see them in public they are aware of the autism and won't be surprised if the boys react strangely.
I don't think any discussion about my boys would prepare anyone for what my student saw: Nate and I walking through the mall, covered in vomit, and Nate trying to remove his clothes.
I still laugh when I remember the look on Nate's face as I was trying to get him to throw up in the toilet.........he has since learned how.
One night, years later, we were at Chevy's having dinner. One of the many bad things about Nate not talking, is you don't know when he doesn't feel well. So, without warning, Nate threw up all over the table......and again on himself....and again all over the floor. I jumped up and took Nate into the women's restroom while Tim got the check and Vicki took Nick and Noah to the car.
I got Nate into the bathroom and tried to get Nate to throw up in the toilet instead of all over the floor. Now, mind you, we have been teaching Nate FOR YEARS not to put his face in the toilet. What was I trying to do now?????? Have him put his face in the toilet. He was sooooooo confused. Even though he couldn't speak, the look on his face was priceless and he clearly thought I was crazy. I never did get him to throw up in the toilet. I owed the staff at Chevy's a huge apology.
When he stopped getting sick, I decided it was time to go to the car. To get to the car, we had to walk through the mall. Now, Nate and I are covered in vomit. He does not like the feel of this and starts to take off his clothes. Nate was 8 years old. Everyone knows that an 8 year old is too old to be stripping in the mall. So, here I am trying to reason with a child that can't be reasoned with and I hear the words, "Hi, Mrs. Hill!" Oh yes, a student and her parent............
I tell all my students about my kids in the beginning of the school year so that if we see them in public they are aware of the autism and won't be surprised if the boys react strangely.
I don't think any discussion about my boys would prepare anyone for what my student saw: Nate and I walking through the mall, covered in vomit, and Nate trying to remove his clothes.
I still laugh when I remember the look on Nate's face as I was trying to get him to throw up in the toilet.........he has since learned how.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
you're shitting me
I did not plan to have a third child. After getting Nick's diagnosis, I was finished. I couldn't do it again.
I went in to get my tubes tied on December 31, 2003. Tim and I figured this would be a good time to do it since we don't go out on New Year's Eve and I would still have time to recover before school started. Nate and Nick spent the night before at my mom's since I had to be at the surgery center by 5am.
I was very nervous. I had never had surgery before, so I was nervously chatting with the nurse as I got in my gown and she checked my vitals. Tim was out in the waiting room while all this was going on. I was telling the nurse about the boys and I told her I couldn't do it again. I couldn't sit in the neurologist's office again and then turn my house upside down with therapy. The words, "If I found out I was pregnant right now, I'd kill myself," actually came out of my mouth. The nurse had me pee in a cup. I didn't think anything of it. I figured they were checking my sugar levels since I hadn't eaten since midnight.
Boy was I wrong........
I was lying on the gurney with the iv in my arm and waiting for the anesthesiologist to come in to talk to me. The nurse came in and told me that we weren't doing the surgery. I asked her if he was late, maybe doing an emergency surgery, and told her that the boys were with my mom and I had to get finished as quick as possible. She interrupted me to tell me that the reason we weren't doing the surgery was because I was pregnant.
"You're shitting me!", I said and started to cry and cry.....and cry. I believe that if we were in a hospital they would have put me on a 36 hour hold. Boy, did that nurse have a story to tell that night.
It took me a few weeks to get used to the idea of being pregnant. While my friends were very supportive, my family was not. I hope that they were just worried about the extra stress in my life. The doctor sent us to a genetic specialist to see if they could tell us anything about the possibility of having a third autistic child. They weren't any help. All we could do was wait and see.............
I went in to get my tubes tied on December 31, 2003. Tim and I figured this would be a good time to do it since we don't go out on New Year's Eve and I would still have time to recover before school started. Nate and Nick spent the night before at my mom's since I had to be at the surgery center by 5am.
I was very nervous. I had never had surgery before, so I was nervously chatting with the nurse as I got in my gown and she checked my vitals. Tim was out in the waiting room while all this was going on. I was telling the nurse about the boys and I told her I couldn't do it again. I couldn't sit in the neurologist's office again and then turn my house upside down with therapy. The words, "If I found out I was pregnant right now, I'd kill myself," actually came out of my mouth. The nurse had me pee in a cup. I didn't think anything of it. I figured they were checking my sugar levels since I hadn't eaten since midnight.
Boy was I wrong........
I was lying on the gurney with the iv in my arm and waiting for the anesthesiologist to come in to talk to me. The nurse came in and told me that we weren't doing the surgery. I asked her if he was late, maybe doing an emergency surgery, and told her that the boys were with my mom and I had to get finished as quick as possible. She interrupted me to tell me that the reason we weren't doing the surgery was because I was pregnant.
"You're shitting me!", I said and started to cry and cry.....and cry. I believe that if we were in a hospital they would have put me on a 36 hour hold. Boy, did that nurse have a story to tell that night.
It took me a few weeks to get used to the idea of being pregnant. While my friends were very supportive, my family was not. I hope that they were just worried about the extra stress in my life. The doctor sent us to a genetic specialist to see if they could tell us anything about the possibility of having a third autistic child. They weren't any help. All we could do was wait and see.............
Monday, August 2, 2010
I'm done
Today the score is autism 1, Mommy 0.
We have been having toileting issues with Noah for some time. If he is naked, he is potty trained. If he is not naked, he is not potty trained. That's not even the big issue.......
When he poops on the potty he does not push the poop out. Instead he uses finger to dig the poop out.....I know, I know GROSS! UGH!!!! Well. now he is bleeding from so much digging.......
So I called the pediatrician. The bleeding will stop and the tear will heal. I called the psychiatrist. How do I handle this behaviorally without ruining him for the rest of his life???????
She said to continue potty training, but he is not to be unattended. OK that's realistic. We need to reshape his bathroom routine and get him to wear clothes.
I broke down and made the call for professional help. Hopefully, someone can come out to the house soon. I need someone in the house every day from 4 to 7 to help with dinner, bath, and bedtime. He/she can devote their 100% attention on Noah (which I can't possibly do). I just got off the phone with the insurance company. Until the Autism Bill goes into effect on Jan 1, 2011, any behavioral help is not covered.
Tim even said today that it would be nice to have the autism go away for a few weeks so we could potty train Noah and then it could come back. I think we both feel defeated.
I need the autism to go away. I wish I could put it in a box up on a shelf for a little while. I know it won't go away forever, but just one day off would be nice.
We have been having toileting issues with Noah for some time. If he is naked, he is potty trained. If he is not naked, he is not potty trained. That's not even the big issue.......
When he poops on the potty he does not push the poop out. Instead he uses finger to dig the poop out.....I know, I know GROSS! UGH!!!! Well. now he is bleeding from so much digging.......
So I called the pediatrician. The bleeding will stop and the tear will heal. I called the psychiatrist. How do I handle this behaviorally without ruining him for the rest of his life???????
She said to continue potty training, but he is not to be unattended. OK that's realistic. We need to reshape his bathroom routine and get him to wear clothes.
I broke down and made the call for professional help. Hopefully, someone can come out to the house soon. I need someone in the house every day from 4 to 7 to help with dinner, bath, and bedtime. He/she can devote their 100% attention on Noah (which I can't possibly do). I just got off the phone with the insurance company. Until the Autism Bill goes into effect on Jan 1, 2011, any behavioral help is not covered.
Tim even said today that it would be nice to have the autism go away for a few weeks so we could potty train Noah and then it could come back. I think we both feel defeated.
I need the autism to go away. I wish I could put it in a box up on a shelf for a little while. I know it won't go away forever, but just one day off would be nice.
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