Don't make fun of the little yellow bus......

Last night someone I went to high school with made two comments on Facebook making fun of the "little yellow bus."  Since I was friends with this person, the comments showed up in my feed.  I read them and read them again.  I was offended and shocked that someone would still make reference to the "little yellow bus" when he was questioned about his spelling.  He also preceded to refer to the person who questioned his spelling as also having ridden "the little yellow bus."

I stewed for a while and then I did it.  I called him out on it.  Since I have since blocked him, I can't pull up my comment.  However, it did let him know that I found it was offensive.  While he did not reply to my comment, the other person did.  His reply was, "Oh, for fuck's sake."

Well, let me tell you what "for fuck's sake."  That "little yellow bus" was a life saver for us.  Every morning as each of my three children boarded that bus, I knew that they were going to make some sort of progress that day.  Some days it was very small, but other days it was HUGE.  I knew that I was lucky to live in an area that offered all these services for my kids.  I have met many parents with special kids who are not that lucky.  I knew that my kids would be safe and no one would be making fun of them for being different.

So, let's show the "little yellow bus" some respect.  Let's show the people who work with the kids who ride the "little yellow bus" some respect.  It's not always an easy job.  But, most importantly, let's show the kids who ride the "little yellow bus" some respect.  I guarantee they work harder than most kids to learn how to do things that many people take for granted.

We've Come a Long Way Baby....

Today, I took Nate to the pediatrician for a pre-surgery physical.  He's going to Children's Hospital to have dental work done under anesthesia tomorrow and needs a physical 24 hours in advance.

As Nate and I were driving to the doctor's office, we had this conversation:

Me: Nate, what's the doctor going to look at?

Nate:  Ears.

Me: What else?

Nate: Mouth.

Me:  What else?

Nate:  Chest.

Me: What else?

Nate: Back.

Me: And?

Nate: Belly.

Me:  Are you going to kick the doctor?

Nate: No.

Me:  Are you going to scream?

Nate: No.

We had the conversation 3 or 4 times as we made our way to the appointment.  And you know what?  It came true!

He let the nurse take his temperature and blood pressure.  He actually led the exam with the doctor by telling him what to check and in what order.  He was so good!  He did get a little impatient after the exam while we waited for all the forms to be filled out.

As Nate was getting his cookies, (Which he asked for using a complete sentence), the nurses were talking about what a good job he did.  One of the nurses said that she remembered him screaming and rocking when we pulled in the parking lot.  She laughed and said that everyone knew Nate was in because they could hear him screaming the minute we walked in the door.  He's come a long way....... Let's hope tomorrow goes as smoothly.....

8 days post surgery.....

I am 8 days post surgery.  I spent last Thursday night in the hospital.  When I was released last Friday, I went straight to my mom's.  It's quiet there so I was able to sleep and heal.  I am so used to all the staff being in the house, that I don't realize how loud and busy it always is.

Tim brought the boys to visit me twice at my mom's.  Noah really struggled.  He didn't understand why he couldn't sit next to me and twirl my hair.  He also went through my bag, brought me another pair of pajamas (he didn't notice that I already had a pair on), and then stripped and tried to find his pajamas.  He also didn't understand why I wasn't coming home with him.  I think it was a rough 5 days.  Luckily, the approval for extra staffing came through and he was staffed all weekend and kept busy.

I returned home Tuesday.  I arrived an hour before Nate and Noah got off the bus, so I had time to settle in and get comfortable.  When Noah came in off the bus, I was laying on the love seat.  I thought he'd come straight over for some love......no.  He ran right past me and into his room to put his things away.  He basically ignored me all night.  I'm not sure if he was mad at me....  

I got the silent treatment until 7:30.  Why 7:30?  Well at 7:30, Noah had been bathed, was in his pajamas, and had taken his medicine.  He was tired.  Now it was all about mom.  He brought me another pair of pajamas and asked for "Mommy's bed".  What did I do?  I promptly complied.  I put on the other pair of pajamas and climbed into my bed with him.  (Don't tell me he's too old to be in my bed.  You try having 2 children who will never snuggle and then suddenly the 3rd one wants to snuggle.  I have many years to make up for.  That's probably the topic for another blog)

We laid down under the covers.  Noah had a flapper in one hand and was twirling my hair with the other.  All was right with his world.

I'm having surgery....

So here's another time that the autism just makes things a little more difficult.  I am having surgery tomorrow with a 6 week recovery period. For a few weeks I will not be able to push a vacuum, lift anything over 10 pounds, or go up and down the stairs. So, being left alone with Nate and Noah is now impossible.   My biggest stress is not the surgery itself, but getting Noah staffed during my recovery.

Luckily, the state approved emergency funding for additional hours for Noah.  Unfortunately, the company who provides our staff doesn't have enough people to staff all the hours we need help.  I am hoping they find the personnel we need.  As it is, I already am staying a few days with my mom so Noah doesn't jump on me or hurt me in any way. 

If Nate and Noah were typical children, I'd be able to be left alone with them after the surgery. They would also be able to help with cooking meals and keeping up the housework. I wouldn't be spending so much time and energy worrying about getting Noah staffed. 

Sharing our story.......

A friend of mine teaches a class at Lindenwood University and asked me to speak to her class. I told them about our journey.....the good and bad.

I told them about the poop, the appendicitis, and the social struggles. I was brutally honest. I also talked about the Autismmobile and getting services in the home. I talked about the depression and how  Noah's diagnosis almost killed me. We laughed together and got a little teary together. 

I love sharing our story in hopes that I can save another mom from feeling as overwhelmed and alone as I was. It's also good for me to tell the story from the beginning and realize how far we all have come. 

A Tale Of Two IEPs

We cranked out two IEPs today, Nick's and Noah's.  Someone suggested that we also schedule Nate's and get them all done in one day.  I just can't....too emotionally draining to do both Nate's and Noah's in the same day.  Their needs are too involved....too much.

We started the day with Nick's meeting.  We requested a SSD representative from the high school attend so we could focus on the rest of 8th grade and next year's needs.  I am so lucky that Nick attends school where Tim teaches.  It's just nice knowing that Nick's teachers know Tim and have a even more vested interest in him.  It also helps that Tim knows which colleagues would be a good fit.  The meeting was longer this year than last year's, but we got a lot hammered out.  We have minutes set for the rest of this year and next, and some good goals.  The high school representative really listened when we requested Algebra and English be in the morning when his medicine is in full effect.  We had frank and honest conversations about his social skills, lack of friendships  and choosing electives.  We decided that a foreign language could wait until his Sophomore year and Debate might not be a good class for Nick to take.  Tim and I are worried about next year, but today's meeting was a great start to reduce the worry.  It was also nice to have his home Behavior Therapist with us to talk about the Social Thinking program he is learning at home.

Noah's meeting was after lunch.  I am always worried going into his meetings.  Noah's behavior is more of an issue than Nate and Nick's and I often worry about his lack of academic progress.  Today's meeting was very smooth.  His behavior the past calendar year has greatly improved.  I couldn't believe the data.  He has also made some academic progress.  This is also in part to the home ABA team working on many of the same skills as school.  Andrea, Nick and Noah's Behavior Therapist, was ferociously taking notes and offering many good suggestions.  Noah will have many new things to work on at home.  Noah came to Southview for the second half of kindergarten.  He is now technically in the 4th grade.  The teacher he has this year is the same teacher he had for the second half of kindergarten.  It is so nice to be able to talk about the differences between then and now.  

So we made it......two IEPs, two happy parents, and, most importantly, zero tears.

Random Acts of Kindness....

My mom and I took Nate to the mall Saturday to buy him new pants for work.  He has grown so much this past year, that nothing fits.

Out first stop was Qdoba for lunch.  As we were going through the line, I was prompting Nate to order on his own.  I asked him if wanted a chicken or cheese quesadilla for lunch.  Nate kept telling me chicken, so I let him tell the man his order.  Nate told him chicken several times, so I figured he really wanted the chicken quesadilla.  We took out food to the table to eat and Nate started inspecting his food.  He wouldn't eat his quesadilla and opened it up to start picking out every piece of chicken and giving it to my mom.  I knew this was not going to work.  He would not rest until every piece of chicken was gone.  I went back up to the counter to order Nate a cheese quesadilla.  The same man was working and I told him that Nate wouldn't eat the chicken and I needed a new cheese quesadilla.  I stepped down to pay and he shooed me back to my table and told me not to worry about paying.  I would have gladly paid for the other quesadilla, but it was nice that the man recognized Nate's difficulty in ordering.

The second act of kindness surprised me more than the first.  We were at Macy's buying Nate some pants.  I was paying for them and Nate was pacing behind me.  There was a young man (in his early 20's with green hair) standing behind me.  I kept waiting for Nate to comment about the green hair, but, surprisingly, he didn't.  Nate could not stand still and just kept pacing behind me.  He also kept repeating the words, "apples and bananas."  Over and over, "apples and bananas."  One time he only said, "apples."  The young man behind me looked at Nate, smiled, and said, "and bananas."  Nate looked at the young man, smiled, and then started all over again, "apples and bananas."  The young man behind me didn't judge Nate.  He didn't look at us with pity.  He just took a minute and tried to make a connection with Nate.  It really made my day.