Another hoop

A few weeks ago, our DMH case manager decided that to put Nate on the waiting list for the Lopez Waiver (the same one Noah has).  This decision was made due to Nate's increased aggression and his hours being cut by the insurance company (that's a whole other issue).

In order to apply for the Lopez Waiver, I must apply for Medicaid (again) and be denied (again).  Has anyone seen the paperwork??  Why can't they just pull up our telephone number and see that we were already denied once so we sure will be denied again??  This is just ridiculous!  I am so tired of filling out paperwork.

I don't understand why people make things so difficult for some of us who already deal with difficult every day.  How about making things easier?  Just come to the house, watch one of Nate's meltdowns, and make the decision.  Someone must think that I sit around on my ass all day and eat chocolates.  I surly have a lot of free time to fill out a four page application for something that I will be denied.  

I am filling out the paperwork......ugh......

By the way, hula hoops are the only type of hoop I want to deal with.

Nate is 15

Nate is 15.  We have had his diagnosis for 13 years. 13 years ago I started to mourn the loss of the child I would never have. 

Nate should have his driver's permit. 
Nate has not had a first kiss.
Nate has never had a sleepover.
Nate has never played a team sport.
Nate has never gone to the mall with his friends.
Nate has never had his heart broken.
Nate has never ridden a bike.

I am still mourning. I am still angry. I am still jealous of all my friends who have typical children. 

PJHS

A couple of weeks ago, I visited my previous place of employment.  It was so nice to visit with the friends that I haven't seen in a very long time!

As I was driving home, I realized that these people helped me get through getting Nate's diagnosis and the first 15 months of therapy.  They were so patient as I cried and wondered how we would get through this.  They offered many hugs and words of encouragement.  They listened while I described every therapy and cheered for every bit of progress, no matter how small.  

It was a difficult decision to leave PJHS.  However, working closer to home was best for my kids.  I think of these friends often and hope they know how grateful I am for their support and friendship.  I don't think I would have survived that first year without them.