Nate went to 'camp. Let me rephrase that....I dropped off my non-verbal 13 year old Friday night at 7 with people that he didn't know. We didn't pick him up until today at 4. It was not easy. I felt like such the bad guy. My mom and Tim didn't want him to go. They really made me feel guilty. Like I would purposefully send my child to a place where he could be hurt.
Nate's ABA aide, Nick, and I dropped off Nate Friday night. When we got there, I was surprised to see my sister's ex-sister-in-law. It made me feel better that someone I knew was there. Anne and Nick went with Nate and his "buddy" to the cabin and I turned in his meds to the nurse. By the time I got to the cabin, his bed was made and he was ready to go. I didn't stick around. I figured it was easier to leave quickly than prolong the goodbye. He was ready for me to go. All I got was, "bye Mommy." He didn't blink an eye. I don't know that he knew what was going on.
Tim wanted to go out Saturday to check on him, but I wouldn't let him. I didn't want to take the chance of upsetting Nate when Tim went to leave. It was not relaxing having him gone. Even though there was one less body in the house, he was always on my mind. Were they serving food he liked? Was he using his words to get what he wanted? Did he miss us? Did he think I just abandoned him with strangers???????
He was very happy when we picked him up. He was happy to see us, but said he had fun. I asked him if he wanted to go back and he said "yes". His buddy said he had a good weekend, but not much else. I was hoping for a more detailed account of his weekend, but didn't get one. Maybe I am just spoiled by the specific details I get from the ABA people at the house.
It was a very big step...for Nate and Tim and me. He needs to have opportunities for independence. He also needs to be able to go places without us. If we don't give him these opportunities now, what will happen in 10 years? I want Nate to live in an assisted living facility with Noah. He can't be totally dependent on Tim and I forever. Tim and I will not live forever and need to remember that while it's easier to keep him with us at all times now, that's not what's best for his future.
